New Chapter

How I was before

This day started just like any other day in my life. I do the usual stuff at the start of the day. I wake up, not eat breakfast and wait until I can get brunch, get the laptop, and be online to catch up with some friends. This has been my daily routine for the past months, though I don't really get to talk to a lot of friends anymore.

So this morning, I was able to talk with one of my really close friends from school, another friend i met through someone, and a long time friend -- someone I met back when I was still in High School. All I can say is, maybe it was meant that I got to talk to them, for certain reasons.

For the past months, I haven't really been feeling well, mainly because of the relationship side in my life. I just feel like nothing's going right for me, like everything's a mess. Well, these few friends of mine have been there since the day we met, may there be problems or none.

I first got to talk to with my school mate, who I promised to catch up with. And yes, we did talk after a long time. We were just catching up with each other, about how things are going now, until it came to a point where I share what has been happening to me for the past months. I've been wanting to share this for a long time now, I just couldn't find the right time. Anyway, right now, I can say that I really miss you, and I'm really looking forward to talking to you again soon, and maybe in the future hang out with you. I'm glad that I was able to talk to you today, and that made me feel better, not completely, but still, it helped.

I got to talk to another friend, at the same time I was talking with my school mate. It started when I asked her a favor, something I wanna do but I just can't for a lot of reasons. From one favor, it ended with a very long conversation, something I didn't really expect but something that helped me at the moment, and hopefully it will go on.  And, like what I said in our conversation (which is not included in the picture) I said that I'm thankful that i was able to talk to someone who can understand what I'm going through, or has an idea of how I'm feeling, and can share with me something that I've been wanting to hear, something I've been wanting to feel, something I've been looking for. I haven't seen it completely, but I'll get there.

Just now, I got to talk to one of my really close friends, someone I met back in High School. We're not really the perfect friends for each other (if you look back at everything that happened with us, not talking to each other for several years for some reasons) but I'm still happy that we were able to forget those times and just go on, and be the best of friends today. I guess today, my conversation with her was what really hit me. It hit me to the point that I don't even know what to say, that I don't even know what I should do. It's like, being scolded by an older sister, yet I don't feel bad. In a way, it's like there's this fear inside myself that I can't really explain. It hit me to the point that it left my in tears, tears after realizing how much I've lost, and how much I've wasted stuff in my life, not realizing that there are indeed people out there who care. I may not realize it completely now, but I will get there.

In our conversation, she gave me a challenge, which I hope I'll be able to do. After everything that's happened, after everything that's happening now, just like what I said in my previous entry, now's my turn.

How I am Now (Hopefully)

Thank you friends for being there, for being patient with me, for your inspiring words, and just for being really great friends. Thank you.