Well, this is reality. Nothing really goes our way all the time. We always end up getting disappointed if we don't get what we're looking for. It's always the "we're not really looking for" is there. Agree?I just hate everything that's happening with me right now, with how they're happening, the timing and everything. I hate the fact that I wasn't able to do the stuff I wanted to do, because of limited time. I hate the fact that I made wrong decisions in the past, and still make wrong decisions in the present -- if I were to go back in time, I'd make up for those. I hate the fact that sometimes, I feel like I'm too nice. I can't stand being mad at something for a long time, because of that guilty feeling. I hate the fact that I'm the one always saying sorry even if I didn't do anything, just to end things already. I hate the fact that I'm the one always left behind, and there's really nothing I can do about it. I hate the fact that I always fall easily for someone, and once I'm there, I give too much, or maybe I give everything I have and not leave anything for me. I hate the fact that I can't just forget "that pain", cause whenever I do try to forget, I always end up being that that state again. I hate the fact that I'm always hurting in whatever way -- whatever I do, someone gets hurt and disappointed. I hate the fact that I'm like this.. I hate myself..
My life has been really quiet, and has been down the dumps for a long time now. I don't really know if anyone's still there. If you're out there, please do look for me, and get me out of this puzzle. I wanna know how it feels to be missed and to be looked for, for someone to be happy to see me and talk to me again.
So I guess, this is my final goodbye, to everyone and everything.. I need time for myself, to have peace of mind, to find the answers to my forever unanswered questions. I want to have that well deserved rest again. I want to wake up one morning and not feel anything but joy, know that it's another day to be happy again. I want to have those dreams where all I am is a happy child. I want my life back..
To all of you out there, always stay safe. Always stay positive, and try to be strong no matter what the situation is. Rememberto open your eyes to new opportunites, to be the best you can be in this world. Whatever happens, your family and friends will always be there to support you and to love you. (some stuff I should've seen and learned how to do a long time ago.) Don't live a life like me. Believe me, it's hard.
So there. God bless you all.
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