Envisage

Often times, people compare reality with fantasy, seeing fantasy as reality, only exaggerated in certain ways.

In this real world, people try to live the life present in the fantasy world, where there is magic, happily ever afters, and just basically, everything goes your way.

For the past weeks, I have been having these dreams, which I consider a fantasy. These dreams are, I think, based on what I have been feeling, dong, or thinking, about everything that has been happening to me and around me.

Dreams kind of play with the feelings of people, about how they should do something, or treat someone, or what.

In my case, I guess the dreams I have been having have somewhat been good and not good to me at the same time.

Yesterday was one of those days that I just wish I could forget. It was too quiet, and depressing. Just like what I do everyday, I turn on the laptop, and look for movies I can watch. Last night, I decided to watch A Walk To Remember. I wasn't able to watch it continuously, as I fell asleep, but continued watching when I woke up. After I finished watching, I went back to sleep, and woke up an hour later, and went back to sleep. Then, I woke up again. So much for my sleeping time.

In between those sleep-wake up-sleep-wake up time, I had this dream, this certain dream, that kind of plays with how I should be feeling right now. It goes like this:

I was with a group of friends, and I just came back from where I am now, to visit them. So all of us were having dinner, and drinking. I was at the end of the table, because I was the last one to arrive so I could surprise them. At some point, one of them told me to move closer, because there's an empty seat. Before I got to seat, another friend of ours gave me a big hug, and I hugged back. For some reason, I even gave her a kiss on the head.

That's where it all started. From that time on, we started talking, she started telling me everything about what's been happening, and I did the same. Basically, as far as I can remember, what we talked about are what we usually talk about in the real world. It just happened differently in the dream.

Everyone had to go, so I went with her to drop her off somewhere. But before that, she had to get something from a friend. We were not together in the dream, and even in real life, but in the dream, we were holding hands, as if we were a couple. And how we treat each other, is just really different.

We went to this party, or maybe a prom or what, because it looked like one, and she got some cards that looked like invitation cards, from a friend I can recognize as well. Then we went somewhere again and gave those cards to someone I forgot who. In between those times, she kept giving me a tight hug, which kind of made me happy in the dream.

I woke up, feeling kind of weird and confused. This dream, somewhat, maybe is telling me that, I should start clarifying what I really feel, before I get hurt even more, or before I hurt anyone else even more.

Maybe, this is not the time yet for me. It hurts, a lot, but that's something I should learn to face.