Half Empty. Half Full.

This is just a random rant post. I guess I just really need to do this, to at least release all the tension I'm feeling. When I'm pissed, I usually rant a lot in every way I can: tell my friends about it, rant with Facebook or Twitter posts. Lately I've decided to just keep quiet and keep everything to myself, for certain reasons: not having that much friends here/having friends from way back home who I can rant to easily, I just don't know what else I can do if I get too mad (I might end up destroying something..) and I guess I think keeping everything to myself is something I need ever since I moved here. I've been more secretive of stuff, for a change (because I think it will do me good..) even if sometimes I feel like it's bad for me.

So my question actually is, have you ever had that feeling when you feel more like someone else than who you really are? To be specific, sometimes you don't feel like who you're really supposed to be because of how people treat you?

It's just really annoying, and I don't even know where to start. I wanna get in to details but I don't really know if it's a good idea. Main point, sometimes I think I can't be my real self because of how things are. There are a lot of things I wanna do (I'm a dreamer..) but I can't achieve most of them because of some factors trying to stop me.

The sad thing about this is, not really having any idea who to talk to, where to go, or something because you feel like you're far away from everyone else. Sometimes I just wish I could go back home and have things my way for a change, because seriously I'm getting tired. I'm just not saying anything, trying to be patient, because I already have an idea of what may happen if I do "rebel" or something.

In such times, I just wish I could go away, go meet up some friends, eat out, have a drink, go have fun. They may not know it, but I miss my friends so much, and it really makes me happy whenever I get the chance to talk to them online (because that's the only communication line we have right now..) They may not see me happy, but it really helps lighten stuff around when I get to hear from them. So yeah, I guess that's another reason why sometimes I feel sad when I try initiating a conversation and I don't get anything.

I miss home. I miss you. I miss everyone.

So yeah. Feeling Half Empty. Half Full.

I feel alone.

HIStory - Chapter 2

A Memory to be Forgotten

Josephine, Jasmine and Jaden decided to stay for a while and help Rip clean up the place, before leaving. It took a while for things to be put in the right place. Still, everyone was curious how all of this happened in one night.


"Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Jaden asking Rip. "Yeah, don't worry about me. I just need to figure out first how this happened." shaking Jaden's hand, then getting a goodbye hug from Josephine and Jasmine.


As Rip's friend left, he goes to the kitchen to get himself some water and medicine to help himself feel better with the headache he's experiencing. He goes back to his room, sit's on his bed with his laptop on and tries to look for something that can just help him pass time. As he was going through his accounts, something that he's trying to avoid but always curious about it, then pops out of one of the social networks he has. Trying his best to not get involved,  he still ends up going to her page and trying to see what's new, and just ends up feeling really bad.


Not feeling too well, he just decides to go around his place and figure out how all of this happened, from the start, to last night, to present day.

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As a grade 7 student, at the age of 13, Rip hasn't really figured out anything much yet about his life - as to what he really wants to do and what to be when he grows up, what will him happy, what he wants, etc. But there's one thing that he really likes doing, it's to make other people feel better and happy. In fact, some of his friends even say that he cares to much for other people, not that it's a bad thing.

He never really had any idea what will hit him in his last year in grade school, until it was already right in front of him.

On his last year in grade school, he met this really pretty girl. Let's call her Andi. Rip was attracted to her: he wanted to know everything about her, wanted to get to know her more and just spend time with her. The problem is, Rip was never really the type of guy who approaches. He's shy, and not really good with talking with girls. Also, at a young age, he doesn't really know what to do. As much as he wants to ask for advice, he just thought of not doing so, so as not to be picked on.

The easy thing with this is, he knows the name of the girl already. But the hard part is, how to come out and talk to her in a none-stalker way. But in the end, he was able to talk to her but online.

As days passed, the two got closer and closer to each other. But Rip still never felt any closer to talking to her in person or going out with her. Nevertheless, he was happy.

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Thinking about all of this, how everything in this area of his life started, he misses feeling that way: feeling happy and not having to worry that much about anything.

Rip then gets his phone, and texts up his friend: "Hey Josephine, can I come over? I just need some company, at least just for tonight.."

Along with Rip, Jaden and Jasmine also went to Josephine's place to hang out and chill for the night. At that point, Rip felt alive again. Temporarily, that is.