HIStory - Chapter 1

Recall

"Yeah, thanks." Rip said, as he puts down the phone. All alone on his condo, he decides to go outside his balcony just to have some fresh air. As the wind blows his air, he stares outside, with a beer on his right hand, then looks at his watch.

He then decides to go back in by the time he hears a knock on his door. "Finally, pizza's here." Rip ordered an 18-inch pizza, getting ready for the night with his friends. After preparing all the sounds, food and drinks, he decides to just sit around and watch television while waiting. time passed, and he's had a couple of drinks already.

"Rip. Hey Rip. Wake up man." he heard, struggling to open his eyes. First thing he saw was his glasses in front of him, on the floor. Trying to get up, he found himself lying on the floor.

"What happened?" Josephine, one his close friends asked. Rip, trying to look around the place, can't figure out why his place is all messed up. "Hey, you're bleeding." Touching the left side of his head, he saw dried up blood.

"What time is it?" Rip asked his friends, having really bad headache. "It's 1 in the afternoon. I thought we're going out today. We've been trying to call you. What happened here?"

Finally standing up, Rip went to sit on the sofa and trying to fix himself. He then sees his other friend, Jaden, bring a pitcher of water and glass. "Here you go," he said. "Thanks man." It's 1 in the afternoon, at Rip's apartment with his friends Josephine, Jasmine and Jaden. "Are you feeling better? What happened here?" looking around as the place looks like it was hit by a tornado or something.

"I can't really remember anything. I remember last night I was talking with Josephine about today's plans, but obviously it slept my mind." Jamie, trying to aid Rip's bleeding, then said, "We were just talking last night and you sounded like you were not in the mood. What's wrong?"

"I.. I'm kind of having a hard time trying to recall how all of this happened.."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rip Aldridge is a University graduate Grew up very close to his family, he found it really hard to leave them even on short times. He is into sports, specifically basketball but also grew up learning other sports like soccer and swimming.

Living a very simple life, Rip never had the latest gadgets, not always the first one with the latest news, but always managed to stay updated and be happy with what's happening around him. Academic wise, he is a very dedicated student leader. Some students even end up hating him for following the rules and not trying to break even a single one. Even though he doesn't get the highest grades in class, he still manages to pass his subjects and get things done on time.

Rip was never an emotional guy until his last year in grade school. First time he ever got interested in getting to know someone. Not familiar with this feeling, he didn't know what exactly he had to do.

Days passed, and he was able to build the courage to go and talk to the girl he saw in one of the school events. The only problem is, everything started online. He was never able to build up the courage to talk to other people personally. But nevertheless, they even got closer and closer as the days pass. So he decides to get her a gift on her birthday, with the help of a friend. But, as what happens in some stories, not all things go the right way. His birthday gift was lost by his friend, and wasn't able to give he anything.

"Hey, how was your birthday?" Rip asked her. This was the last message they had with each other, not hearing from her ever again.

Not knowing how this should feel, it was the first time he felt the pain one goes through. "We weren't really together, but I really like her.." he says to himself, trying to cheer himself up despite what happened.

Rip knew, everything's gonna change from this point. He wasn't at his best self, and people were wondering why. Rip knew, this was the start of something he'll be waiting for the rest of his life.

Reflection

These past weeks, I've had trouble sleeping and most of the time I can't even explain why. Either, I can't sleep early because of watching shows, or I try to sleep early but ended up thinking too much.

But anyway, I haven't had the time to update this for a long time, but decided to do it now since I think I have to (especially after what I dreamt of last night..)

Before going to bed (at least these past weeks..) I usually try to find something to do until I get sleepy. Most of the time I just watch shows online until my eyes get  tired, but other times I just lay on my bed and play games or something on my iPod. Last night was nothing different, though I went to bed earlier than usual.

I couldn't sleep last night, been thinking too much of stuff. The kind of feeling that I really can't explain. Let's just leave it to "It's Complicated."

I've had trouble with myself and certain people I've met in my life, and I tried to reflect on them. Here's what I thought:

Point #1: "At some point in your life, you will meet some people who will do anything and everything to make you feel comfortable, to make you feel special, to make you feel important, until you end up as close friends. Once they have what they want/need, they will just leave you all of a sudden, without any reason or explanation, and pretend that nothing ever happened. It's like you never existed in their lives. True story."

Point #2: People have been asking me, ever since our family decided to migrate here in Canada — when are you planning to go back and visit? I guess here's the best answer I can give out, as of now: "I'm not interested in going back to the place where I came from, my place of origin, is the same as 'I'd rather save myself from getting hurt and feeling all the pain all over again, leaving myself broken in to small pieces, with no one to help me stand."

So yeah. That's just what I have thought so far. Though I can honestly say, I am partly okay and not okay at  the same time. Let's just say I'm not consistently okay, but I can manage.

I guess my dream had something to do with what I have been thinking. As I remember, I was with a good friend of mine. We attended this event just to have a good time. There were free food and drinks, and we decided to get some on our way home. On the bus, I remember that I was looking outside and everyone and everything was at pause. I remember seeing a tower with cars moving around them really fast. Then at some point, everything started moving again (like watching a movie when you just hit the play button..) and everyone, buses, cars, hit each other on the highway, and the cars spinning around the tower fell. There was chaos everywhere, and it felt like an earthquake. I was also looking for my good friend and I couldn't find her anywhere. I woke up not able to finish the dream because it scared me.

According to what I researched:

"To dream of an earthquake suggests that you are experiencing a major "shake-up" that is threatening your stability and foundation. The dream highlights your insecurity, fears, and sense of helplessness. Is  there something in your life that you feel at "fault" for?

If you find cover from the quake, you will overcome these challenges. If you become trapped or injured during the quake, you will suffer some sort of loss in your life. According to the bible, earthquakes symbolize God's anger and power."

So yeah. I guess I'm just not stable with the stuff that's happening around me. I can be happy then depressed. My mood's not consistent.

I guess I really need a big break, something that will take me away even for a while. And when I come back, I should feel better and stronger, I should be able to face these and not run away from them. I just need to find myself again.