Flash

You know how sometimes, when something bad is happened, or the moment when something bad is about to happen, or the like, certain memories will just flash right before your eyes? Not just random memories, but memories that you miss, and hoping everyday, that someday those memories will come to life again? The memories that, even if may hurt you, still remain special? The memories that you chose to keep, the memories that you love?

Well.. I've had my part with this moment.. A number of times, actually..

There's a time where I just slipped, and at that moment, before going down, those memories just flashed right before me, feeling like I was actually there. Good thing I didn't hit my head when I fell down, but that was one. Another was having those really bad days: from the moment you wake up, you know that it's gonna be a bad day, and from one thing to another, everything's just not going your way all day. I guess another would be, just feeling miserable, and wishing you could go back to those memories and just be happy again. And of course, there's that moment, when you see other couples, happy together, and you're in one corner wishing you could be with the person you love the most. But, here you are, away from them..

In other words, the days used to be really happy, when everything was going your way. Not that things are not going my way now, but everything just felt better before, and there's always one factor that will go my way, and there's really nothing I can do about it.. Maybe at the moment, or maybe forever.

So, everyday.. Each day, I wake up, and here I am. Trying to see the good when looking back to those memories, but of course.. Sometimes, or most of the time.. I can't help but feel down, missing all the good times I used to have, with the people I used to spend time with, with the people I care about, with the people I love.

Random share: Yesterday, as I was on the way to the hospital to get my eye checked, this song played on my iPod touch, which really made me down and miss everything I used to have. Wish I could just go back, and have those times again..

I miss you, you know who you are.. I'll see you again, someday..

So, here's the song: Never Had A Dream Come True by the S Club 7

This Is Who I Am.

Each person has their own ups and downs, their own traits, own characteristics, interests, or ways of doing stuff. Each has their way of handling things. Well, as for me, I guess I'm one of those who's easily taken in, and thrown out, just like that.

I am a learner: When I am interested in sometihng, or in somenoe, I try my best to know more about it. I tried to get each detail I need, remember everything that needs to be rememebered, do what needs to be done.

I am a good listener: I try to give my very best to listen to people, and not be the talkative one. I listen to their problems, give my opinion about it. I would rather listen to people, than tell them things I don't think they'll understand, or even appreciate.

I am often misjudged: People often judge me for how I look. Most people think I'm one of those bullies, or hard asses, and never give me the chance to show who I really am.

I get attached too easily: Once I'm already there, I often find it hard to let go, or even move one, whatever is involved in the situation. I learn to love and give my all, and when it's time, I find it really hard to just let go.

I often take things lightly: I easily forgive people when I get hurt, and I never tried hurting anyone. If I did, I never meant it to happen. I never get mad at people, I just try to forget what happened and be okay with it.

I eat my own words: I always tell other people, "Whenever something bad happens, something better will come along. There's a reason for this, and everything will be okay in the end." When it comes to dealing with myself, I can't even follow them.

I am a broken robot: Once I'm broken, I will never forget whatever happened, but I can forgive. But, the pain will always be there. No grudges or anything.

I am not famous: I'm not the best person in this world, I make a lot of mistakes, I always mess up, but, at least I try my best to be there when someone needs me. I don't have a lot of friends, but when someone needs one, I'm here.

I am not perfect: And I will never be, but as long as I'm alive, and breathing, I can say that I can try my best to be as perfect as I can. I never give up.

And, despite everything, all my imperfections, my mistakes, all the pain, I'm still here -- stuck, and alone. Sometimes, I feel like, giving up is the only option left, but there's always the other road to take, that if I just go on, it can take me to a place where I can really be happy.

This is who I am. A mess. A complicated, misjudged robot.

Wake-up

I've always been curious as to why we are having certain dreams -- why we see them, why do we remember only a part of our dream, and sometimes never, all those stuff. It even feels real sometimes, after we wake-up. I just wonder why these things appear in our dreams, even if we don't really think of them through the day. Maybe, they're there and we're just trying not to think about it? Or we're trying to avoid and it just happens in our dreams instead?

Some dreams have meanings, basically concerning our life. As such:

To dream that you are crying indicates a release of depressing feelings that may be closely linked to actual happenings in your waking life rather than scenes from the dream itself. Your dream may be a means to restore emotional stability whilst providing an appropriate outlet for your tears and frustrations. As people go through their everyday lives, they tend to push back, ignore, disallow, or repress their true emotions. It is only through their dreams that they are able to unmask their persona and truly express feelings.

To wake up crying indicates the mourning of your soul. It also connotes your need to modify the ways you deal with situations in life.

Then, after waking up, it'll just keep us occupied for the rest of the day until we forget about them again, and start dreaming of them again. It's just like a cycle, and I guess the only way to solve this is just to not run away from them, but find solutions. But, it's not that easy, right?

Oh, life..