I haven't updated this for a long time, so here I go.
For the past weeks, I haven't really been feeling well for a lot of reasons. I've been trying to do things that can help me feel better, but I always end up feeling miserable.
So for the past weeks, I think I've lost too much already in life. I've lost myself, I've lost the only girl I really love, I've lost my bestfriend, I've lost contact with other.. Basically, I feel like I've lost everything already. But, why do I feel like I keep on losing whatever I have in life?Sometimes, I tell myself, maybe it's better this way. Maybe, this is happening for a certain reason I don't know yet. Sometimes, I tell myself, maybe, being away, being alone, being with myself, is what I really need right now. Maybe, all I need is time for myself..
Maybe, being alone right now, being away from the one girl I really love, being away from everything, is what I really need right now, to be able to find myself again.It hurts so much, and it's really hard to be alone, but sometimes, it's what one needs. I hate the fact that I feel like this right now, but I really can't help it.
They say, to love someone, you should love yourself first. But,how will you know if the time's right already? How will you know if that's the moment you've been waiting for?
Main point: It hurts that we have to be like this now. It hurts that I'm away from you, I still feel the same way whatever I do, and there's nothing I can do about it. It hurts that, when you need someone, I can't be there for you. It hurts that, I can't even do anything for you..
I know, I'm not the perfect guy. I know I don't always say the sweetest words, I know I've made my mistakes, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being away.I realy don't know how I feel right now, or what's going on my mind, or anything. I'm confused..
But, I just want you to know, that, I'll always be here for you, not because I promised, but because I want to be there for you. You're special to me, and you'll always be special.
Whatever it's worth, I'm happy that I met you, and you became an important part of my life. You'll always have a place in my heart.
I miss you, and I love you, Natalie Nicole Tan Lim.
Forever, and always..
